Moving into an intentional community can be one of the most transformative experiences in life. It offers the chance to live in a space built on shared values, deep connections, and collective growth. But let’s be real—it’s not always sunshine and group dinners. There are things I wish I knew before I made the leap into community living, things that would have made the transition smoother, and my experience even more enriching. Here are five of them!

1. It’s Not Always About You (And That’s a Good Thing)

One of the biggest surprises when you move into a community is that you’re no longer the center of your own universe. In an intentional living environment, decisions are made with the group in mind, which can be a big adjustment if you’re used to making choices based solely on your own preferences. From meal plans to chore rotations, everything is about the collective. At first, this can feel limiting, but the beauty of this is that you start seeing the power of collaboration.

What I’ve learned? Letting go of “me” in favor of “we” opens up a world of possibilities. It’s about finding joy in contributing to the group’s success rather than always focusing on individual goals.

2. Conflict Happens (And It’s Actually Healthy)

The idea of living in harmony sounds lovely, right? But here’s the reality: conflict happens, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, conflict can lead to deeper connections when handled properly. Living in close quarters with others naturally leads to disagreements, whether it’s about shared responsibilities, lifestyle choices, or even personality clashes.

What I wish I’d known is that conflict is inevitable and, more importantly, that it can be resolved in ways that strengthen the community. Many intentional communities use conflict resolution tools like nonviolent communication (NVC) or group mediation to ensure that everyone’s voice is heard. So, instead of fearing disagreements, I’ve learned to see them as opportunities for growth, both individually and collectively.

3. Personal Space is Sacred, Even in Community

One of the most common misconceptions about community living is that you’ll constantly be surrounded by people, with no time for yourself. While community life does encourage togetherness, personal space is still essential. In fact, many successful communities actively encourage residents to carve out time for solitude and reflection.

I wish I had realized earlier how vital it is to communicate your needs for personal time. Whether it’s retreating to your room or taking a solo walk, intentional breaks from the group help maintain balance and prevent burnout. Community living thrives when everyone feels respected in their need for both connection and privacy.

4. It Takes Time to Build Genuine Connections

I went into community living expecting to instantly bond with everyone, but the truth is, meaningful connections take time. When you move into a community, it can feel overwhelming at first, especially if the group has been established for a while. There’s a natural adjustment period as you get to know everyone’s unique personalities, preferences, and quirks.

What I wish I knew? Don’t rush it. Deep relationships grow slowly, nurtured by shared experiences over time. Living in a community is about building long-term bonds, so patience is key. As I allowed myself to ease into the rhythm of community life, I found that trust and friendship blossomed naturally.

5. Community Life Is a Learning Curve (But Totally Worth It)

Community living isn’t always easy—it’s a learning process that challenges you in unexpected ways. You’re constantly negotiating, learning new skills (like how to co-manage a garden or organize group events), and adapting to different perspectives. This learning curve can be steep, but the rewards are immense.

The most valuable lesson? Embrace the discomfort. Moving into a community is not just about finding a new way to live, but about finding a new way to grow. Every challenge, every compromise, every shared triumph builds a sense of belonging that’s hard to describe until you experience it firsthand.

Conclusion: Ready to Give Community Living a Try?

Moving into a community is an adventure filled with learning, growth, and incredible human connection. It’s not without its challenges, but the rewards far outweigh them. If you’re ready to embrace a lifestyle that values togetherness, mutual support, and shared purpose, community living might just be the change you’ve been looking for.

Take the leap—because in community, you’ll find that what you give comes back tenfold, and what you learn will shape you for life.

Thanks for reading me,